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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26801704">Only A Dream</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/theramblinrose/pseuds/theramblinrose'>theramblinrose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Walking Dead (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>But could be read alone, Caryl, F/M, northern stars universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:48:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,352</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26801704</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/theramblinrose/pseuds/theramblinrose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Caryl, One shot.  Based off “Northern Stars” universe, but could be read alone.  Life beyond the prison with established Caryl.  Carol has a dream about Sophia and she shares it with Daryl.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Daryl Dixon/Carol Peletier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Only A Dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>AN:  This is just a little one shot that was inspired by an anonymous request on Tumblr.</p><p>They wanted a sort of response to something that happened in “Northern Stars.”  </p><p>The problem with that is that I hadn’t read that story in a long time for personal reasons.  It didn’t go the way I wanted it to go because of influences in my life at the time.  I sort of abandoned and forgot it afterward.  Rereading the chapter, though, through the lens of where I am now in my life, I wanted to write this little requested one shot, but I wanted to write it more in the nature of the way I had actually wanted that story to go/be written.</p><p>It’s just a silly little one shot, but I do hope you enjoy.  Let me know what you think!  </p><p>11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111</p><p>It was spring.</p><p>The grass of the valley was green again, after being long buried under the winter snow and, out of the green blanket, wildflowers grew in a veritable rainbow of yellows, pinks, and purples.  There was a breeze that rippled the tall grass, swaying it and making it almost move like the waves on the ocean.</p><p>Cayden ran off in the grass.  Carol watched him, running and laughing, unalarmed by his rapid disappearance from her sight.  She was relaxed.  At ease.  Everything was right and good, and she could feel that there was nothing to fear.  Cayden might leave her sight, but he was safe.  Daryl, perhaps, was just beyond her vision—in the strange patch of blurriness where she couldn’t quite make out what she saw, forever keeping watch.</p><p>She was dreaming.</p><p>She was entirely aware that she was dreaming.  She felt herself in the way that she could only feel herself in dreams—weightless and not quite solid.  </p><p>She didn’t feel any fear.  This dream was familiar to her.  It was comfortable.  She’d been here before a thousand times or more, it seemed, and she welcomed it now.  It felt immediately recognizable and welcome.  She’d had this dream, off and on, for a while, but it had become a great deal more regular since she and Daryl had focused more on their future together and their little family.  </p><p>There had been a little one for them who had been—ephemeral.  Carol didn’t know if it had been a boy or a girl.  It had never existed, in the physical realm, enough that too many people really even remembered it, but she remembered it.  It had existed, deep inside of her, for long enough to leave its mark.  She carried it, still, in her heart, though she’d never held it in her arms—not in the world beyond dreams.</p><p>Once, in this very dream, and only once, she’d held it.  Bundled and sleeping, and still with nothing to tell her if it was a boy or a girl, she’d held it.</p><p>But only for a second.  Whatever it was that blessed her with the dream and the occurrences in the dream hadn’t let her keep it for long.  </p><p>She didn’t fear this dream, because every time she had it, her heart felt happier—even if it felt sadder, often, upon waking, for that which she couldn’t have beyond the world of dreams.</p><p>Carol found her feet.  It was easy.  In the dream she was light, and her joints never bothered her the way that they did outside of the dream.  She was barefoot, but she had no reason to be concerned.  There weren’t any briars or burs of any kind in the field.  There was only soft grass and wildflowers.  She started walking—away from Cayden, where she left him with whoever was keeping him safe beyond her field of vision. </p><p>She started walking across the field, her eyes closed for a moment, feeling the breeze and smelling the clean air.</p><p>She smiled to herself when she heard the sound—the unmistakable laughter.  The voice that she hadn’t heard in so very long outside of the dream.</p><p>Her heart tugged toward the sound, and Carol opened her eyes.  </p><p>Her mind was consistent, at least, with the gradual changes to her daughter.  She grew taller.  Her body changed, slowly, to reflect that change toward womanhood.  Her face looked more like Carol’s had looked at that age—the age which her heart wished she her to be—than it looked like Ed’s.  </p><p>Even across the field, Carol could see that she was beautiful, and she was happy.  She laughed, pleased to see her mother, and called out to her.  </p><p>Carol felt the tug in her chest.  She felt the desire to wrap her daughter in her arms—to feel her skin against hers and to smell her.  She longed to hold her, once more—at least once more.  Even though she knew it was a dream, and she knew that she would never truly see Sophia again, she longed to have that one sweet moment of pure happiness.</p><p>She knew, though, that the dream never failed to end just moments before they were close enough to throw their arms around each other.  No matter how desperately she ran, Carol never reached her.</p><p>But every time, she ran desperately and she hoped that this night would be the night when she would once again feel Sophia’s body against hers.</p><p>Carol ran, leaning into her own steps, as fast as she could.  She called out Sophia’s name.  Her heart ached when she heard Sophia call back, running in her direction.</p><p>“Mama!”  She called.  “Mommy!”  </p><p>They were the sweetest sounds that Carol had ever heard.  Her heart remembered every single time that Sophia had said them from her very first “Ma-ma-ma” to her very last shriek for Carol’s help in a world that had been cruel enough to take her away.</p><p>Carol was crying, as she ran, preparing already to be snatched back into the world of reality—where things weren’t bad and, in fact, they were very, very good these days, but her arms would feel starkly empty without her baby girl.</p><p>“Sophia!  Baby!”  </p><p>And then, something strange happened.  Something that Carol had never experienced before happened.  Her wish—repeated over and over in her head—stopped echoing in her mind.  </p><p>“Please let me hold my baby girl…please let me hold my baby girl…please let me…”</p><p>Hard and tight, Sophia’s arms wrapped around Carol’s body.  Carol closed her eyes and sucked in a breath at the realization.  She hugged her back, desperately, and buried her face in Sophia’s neck and hair.  </p><p>It was only a dream.  It was a manifestation of her subconscious desires.  It was a manifestation of her thoughts and feelings.</p><p>But it didn’t matter.</p><p>For one moment, Sophia was in Carol’s arms and she felt every bit as real as she had the day that she’d first been placed there.  </p><p>“I love you.  I love you.  I love you.  I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry, baby girl, and I love you.”  </p><p>Carol couldn’t stop herself from crying and clinging to her daughter.  She couldn’t stop herself from saying everything she’d said repeatedly in her mind and heart since she’d lost her.  </p><p>It was only Sophia that hushed her.  </p><p>It was Sophia that pulled away from her, remaining close enough to be touched, and smoothed Carol’s hair back from her face.  It was Sophia that looked happy—radiantly happy—instead of angry, hurt or even sad.</p><p>“It’s OK, Mama.  I love you, too.  Please don’t cry.  I want you to be happy.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.”  </p><p>“I’m OK.” </p><p>“I should’ve…”</p><p>“You did what you could.  Please don’t cry.  I want you to be happy, Mama.  You did what you could.”  </p><p>How was it that Sophia could tell Carol, in her dream, what Carol wasn’t sure she believed when she was awake?  Still, she felt oddly compelled to believe Sophia.  She felt oddly at peace.</p><p>“I love you.”  </p><p>“I know.” </p><p>“Are you OK?”  </p><p>“I’m fine, Mama.  I’m happy.  I’ve seen them, too,” She said, leaning toward Carol and smiling conspiratorially. </p><p>“Them?”  </p><p>“Cayden.”  Carol glanced back across the field toward the place where she’d left him.  He was gone.  He wasn’t in the dream, but he was safe.  Her soul wasn’t afraid for him, not at the moment.  “He’s beautiful, Mama.”  </p><p>“He’s perfect.  You would have loved him.”  </p><p>“I do,” Sophia said.  She smiled.  “I do love him, Mama.  I chose him for you.  I sent him.”  </p><p>Carol’s chest ached.  Her dream was beautiful, but she could still feel pain in this state of unconsciousness.  </p><p>“There was another…”</p><p>“I have her,” Sophia said.  “She’s beautiful…”</p><p>“She?”  </p><p>“The others are coming soon,” Sophia said.  </p><p>“Others?”  </p><p>Sophia nodded.</p><p>“A boy,” she said.  “And a girl.  You’ll be so happy, Mama.  I know you will be.”  </p><p>“Others?  That’s impossible.”  </p><p>“You’ll see him soon,” Sophia urged.  “She’ll be here later.  I chose them for you.  So you can’t cry for me, Mama.  You can’t cry for her.  They’ll understand if you cry sometimes, but…they deserve for you not to cry all the time.  They deserve for you to be happy.”    </p><p>“I don’t understand,” Carol admitted.</p><p>“It’s OK,” Sophia offered.  “I understand everything.”</p><p>“You’re so grown up…” Carol mused.  “I missed all of it.  My baby girl.  This is only a dream…”</p><p>Instead of arguing with her, or correcting her, Sophia simply shushed her and wrapped her arms tight around her again.  Carol felt her.  She sighed in her daughter’s arms.  She drank in every imagined sensation of closeness.  </p><p>She could practically feel Sophia growing thinner, somehow.  She could feel the air around her growing thinner.  She could imagine the dream fading—blurring around the edges—and soon she’d go tumbling back into her reality.</p><p>“Will you come back?”  Carol breathed out.</p><p>“Of course.  I’ll be back soon.”  </p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>“I love you, too,” Sophia said.  “We all do.  He’s with you, Mama, already.  He’ll see you soon.”</p><p>Carol pulled away and looked at Sophia again.  The dream was growing dark and, even though she could still feel Sophia fading away, there was something like a veil of darkness between them.</p><p>“Sophia…”</p><p>“You’ll love him, too.  You’ll see him soon,” Sophia said, fading with one last, bright and sincere smile.</p><p>Carol normally woke from the dream with a start.  This time, she woke gently and slowly.  She opened her eyes and they adjusted to the darkness beyond her dream world.  She shivered.  It was always spring in the dream, but it was winter in the cabin.  She felt Daryl’s arms tighten around her, his chin fitted in the crook of her neck.</p><p>One room away from them, Cayden would be sleeping—lost to the world.  He’d be dreaming of whatever adventures he would go on.  He was, in every way, pure little boy and pure Dixon.</p><p>“You OK?”  </p><p>It was Daryl’s voice that broke through the darkness and Carol smiled to herself.  He was holding her tight against him. </p><p>“I’m fine,” she said.</p><p>“Was it the dream?  The one of Sophia?  I heard you callin’ her name, but then you stopped.  Didn’t wake up like you normally do.” </p><p>“It wasn’t a normal dream.”  </p><p>“What happened?  You catch her this time?”  </p><p>Carol smiled to herself.  When she closed her eyes, she could still see Sophia’s sincere and radiant smile.  She could feel her.</p><p>“Yeah,” she said.  “I did.”  </p><p>Daryl squeezed her affectionately.  </p><p>“Good,” he said.  “Well—what happened?”  </p><p>“I held her,” Carol said.  “I talked to her.”</p><p>“You talked to her?”  </p><p>Carol hummed.  </p><p>“She’s happy.”  </p><p>“Good,” Daryl said.  She felt like he meant it.  He wasn’t just teasing her or humoring her.  “She say anything about what it’s like?”  </p><p>“No,” Carol said.  “Not really, but…I got the feeling that…she’s happy.  She’s at peace.”</p><p>“Good, then,” Daryl said.</p><p>“She said she’d come back,” Carol said.  </p><p>“Tonight?”  </p><p>“Whenever, I guess,” Carol said.</p><p>“I hope she does,” Daryl said.  “For your sake, I mean.  So you can—see her.  Hug her.”  </p><p>Carol sighed.</p><p>“Me too,” she said, sinking into Daryl.  He readjusting himself just to hold her more comfortably.  He nuzzled into her, trapping warmth between them and beneath their heavy quilts.  “I’m just glad she’s happy, Daryl.  I know it sounds silly.”  </p><p>“Don’t sound silly.  I’m glad you caught her.  Glad she’s happy.  More’n any of that, though, I’m glad you’re happy.  You sound better’n you’ve sounded in a while.”  </p><p>His voice croaked slightly with the sound of having been asleep.  Carol smiled to herself.</p><p>“I love you,” she said.  </p><p>“Love you, too, woman,” he said.</p><p>“She told me not to cry so often,” Carol said.  “Not to be sad.” </p><p>“Good advice.”  </p><p>“She told me something else, Daryl.”</p><p>He hummed.</p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>“That we might— really wish we hadn’t given the crib away.” </p><p>Daryl shifted around in the dark like he might try to look at her, but it was too dark to see her.  He settled, instead, against her again.  She smiled to herself when she felt one of his hands untangle from where he was holding her tight and drift down to rub her stomach like he was seeing evidence of his suspicions.</p><p>“You serious?”  He asked.</p><p>“It’s what she said,” Carol said.  “But it was only a dream.”  </p><p>“What do you think?”  Daryl asked.</p><p>“If I were…what would you think?”  Carol challenged.</p><p>Daryl kissed the back of her neck and then nuzzled her again.</p><p>“I think I’d build a new crib, myself, with my own hands…and I’d be damn happy doin’ it.”  </p><p>“Then we’ll just—hope,” Carol said.  </p><p>“Hope,” Daryl echoed it.  “That’s what we been doin’.”  </p><p>“Hope,” Carol repeated.  “Tonight, I feel—strangely full of it.  I feel full of—everything.  Hope.  Optimism.  Love.”</p><p>Daryl laughed to himself.</p><p>“I like the sound of that,” he said.  “You caught all that in one dream—go back on off, woman.  I got you.  See what other good things you can get for us.”  Carol laughed quietly to herself and Daryl tightened his hold slightly.  “Go on,” he urged softly.  “I’ll take care of things out here ‘til you wake up—keep watch.”</p>
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